I can't thank Our God enough when I felt that this unnameable anxiety that sometimes crosses over to an anger I was trying hard to restrain has been lifted from me. For weeks, on and off, it seems the little devil was trying to tell me why won't I act on my feelings of being abused, robbed of a better life, and being maltreated by one who has been close to me, now that I have overcome my psychological hindrances and am having the best of times with my job, my wife, and my children (especially my new born kid, Ronn). Memory, or the subconscious, as Freud would have us academically believe, can be both a blessing and a nuisance.

When I could have a very wonderful memory, but because of the blockings that I have done with it connected with my unpleasant childhood experiences, some of its efficiency have been blocked as well so that simple short-term memory tasks of recalling where I placed this file, which contact person I should be talking to, or even where I placed my keys, has been riling me for a long time now that my frustration and blaming the past has created an anger that I sometimes fear already. I recall remembering whole pages in dictionaries when I was a boy. But being beaten up, embarassed before neighbors or even before a great crush of a teenage peer, seemed to have impaired it. I prayed so hard to God, oh Dear Lord, such things would have spawned murderers and abusive husbands, but not me oh My Dear Lord, not me, I have known Your Love, in tears, I've seen it so well in Your Beautiful World, so I would rather die than let You down.

When I heard this song recently, I felt so light, so carefree, that the past was so over and done with, that its dark tendrils grasping me just withered, and was blown away like ash.



It would have been a song probably by Josh Groban or Charlotte Church or even by the Gregorian Chants, but this song had been my song for my wife some ten years ago, and everytime I hear it, I just feel so infused with love for her and for everything, by chance I heard it on the radio. I would've bought a record of it but I fear that if I have it constantly in my possession it might lose its efficacy. I think God sent this to me, and since I felt such peace, profound, and my smile was so sweet people were smiling back while I was walking the sidewalks, this could not come from anybody or anything but from my Merciful God Himself.

Thank You my Dear Lord, oh thank You so much, My Your Name be glorified forever, may We sing Your Glories in Heaven, may We have hug You and glimpse You Our Divine Parent, the Most Loving Parent of All.

I offer my Son Ronn for Your Divine Plan of Helping Other People and making this world a Better Place. Please take Care of Him, keep Him free from harm and accidents, give Him good health and a loving heart. I also offer my son Francis and my daughter Jamie, for I have done so before, and please protect them, You know what's in my heart.



Praise You Oh Lord My God.