Well, life has plenty of reasons to celebrate, just like Independence Day. But sometimes, one can feel that celebrating may be inappropriate when reflection stemming from unpleasant experiences may be more important than having a good time.

I have been reflecting on my recent visit to my mother's.

I came there to check on my brother and despite the modicum of distaste it brings me whenever I'd be exposed once more to her words that I'd rather have muted to somebody else's ears, I'd sometime regret even having stepped on the cracked porch.

So I went on in and saw my mom as she's never been so emaciated before. She was so thin! Couple that with not wearing her dentures when she met me at the foyer, I was moved with pity as to the frailty of her appearance, this once an iron lady of our household.

She told me that she has not eaten for days because of some glitch in the computers where she gets her pension money, she's without any doe to buy food and she was to proud to call us or ask some from her wary but still kindly neighbors in that not-so-good part of my city.

"I'll be back a sec, okay Mom?"

I went to the nearby grocer, with all the money in my pocket (I dare not withdraw from the ATM nearby, always the paranoid guy, I am.) and bought all the foodstuffs she and my alcoholic brother would need and certainly draw nutrition from, so I deliberately left out cholesterol-rich stuff and more on veggies and fruits and a lot of bread and cereals.

I came back, my arms laden with bulky paper bags, and handed them to her. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and thanked me in such a way that really unnerved me, like she just showed me after a very long time her vulnerability.

I checked on my brother. As usual, I found him sleeping off a hang-over, with a little puke on his shirt. I made a mental note to bring him some shirts my wife bought me that I didn't like. I wanted to bring him to our house in the hopes that I could get him to stop drinking, but my wife just said one word: the kids.

My mom saw me out of the door and though she wanted to thank me profusely, I don't know, she didn't have the heart to say it, though her eyes did. I just want to run away, flee the place that very sec. Because I didn't want her to see me cry. Because, memories flashing in my mind that moment, I saw how she ignored my crying when she tore my Spidey and Superman comic books when I was a little boy. She went on throwing my He-Man action figures in the trash her fellow workers brought me as gifts. She took the picture of my first girlfriend, and when I asked for it, she said she disposed of it and I should concentrate my studies.

I didn't know why that came about in my head, but I figured that won't change anything now. I fled, and stopped at a vacant lot a few blocks down, and sobbed my heart out. A few neighborhood teenagers called me a sissy. I didn't care.

I went home.

Why the sudden flashback? is it my vengeful self? Is it just a psychological comparison of the past and present? Is Our Lord telling me something here? Am I asking the wrong questions? All I know right now, I will go back and check on them more often.

I am praying for them, for you, and for all my friends. And I am praising God that I am still alive and well.

Happy Fourth everybody.

I'm beginning to feel that life is getting better everyday, not so much that I have a job and my wife doesn't complain about the bacon I take home everyday, so long ago she told me that she would stay with me through thick or thin, but it is more of a definiteness, a sense of direction and purpose, that is brought by attending with her regular worship services at the nearby church, which so eloquently and sincerely praises the Holy Name of Our Creator, and it touches my soul everytime.

The sense of being alive and growing in a way pleasing to God in this life makes living more acute and focused and beautiful because in addition to my philosophizing on the existence of God, the heartfelt yearning of the congregation to truly commune with Him and do His Divine Will on Earth brings all knowledge into perfect perspective. That all our endeavors and dreams are never in vain, for all are in the mind of God.

I hope I will never lose the feeling of being excited to hear God's Word and adoring Him in our next worship service.

Our Church pastor gave us a very eloquent and very enlightening counsel the other day. He told us, "If we can't love our neighbor, whom we can see, how can we love Our Lord God, whom we can't see?"

I always love to listen a man dedicated to the spreading and sowing the Word of God for people who need to be shepherded. While I was listening I was reflecting that basically, God gave us intelligence to do just that: to acknowledge His Being, His Existence, HIs Eternal Love, His Omnipotence with the Intelligence that He gave us. I can imagine His PUre and Holy Joy (just like the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son.) upon seeing His child recognizing Him in all things and loving Him just the same.

Intelligence and the freedom to exercise it is the best faculty given us so as to certify that we indeed feel and seek our true Parent, together with our love for our human parents, and there is no other way for God to know how we, His Creatures, humankind, would "trace" our lineage to HIm.

Praise be to Our God, Alleluia.

First off, let say this from the bottom of my heart, Thou art Great, O Lord God. You love us always, and have let us partake in the Mystery of Your Creation. Thank You and May Your Name be Praised Forever!

I am humbled and close to just being alone with the thought that as I carry my youngest son, Ronn, in my arms, I can't wait but be amazed that I am a part of God's Unfolding Creation and of bringing the gift of life to His Child, my Child. My mind can't fathom the mystery and the microscopic details of how my Dear Lord gave my son, dear, trusting, and cooing son, who at two months, is already smiling back and responding to us talking to him and singing to him. To the busy and preoccupied majority, having kids is part of life, almost just like a statistic. But, I believe I am one with God-fearing parents, and grandparents, when I feel this undescribable gratitude and realization how God has entrusted to me this tiny infant and made me a steward for his physical and spiritual nourishing. It's like He just told me on the street, accosting Him after a hard day's office work, "You're not a geek that your college dudes saw you, or a weakling in your peers' eyes. I gave you your son, live up to my expectations." I just want to fall on my knees on the pavement and just shout my lungs out there and say, "My Sweet Beloved Creator, give me more strength!" Oh, I really need that, there is a heavy task ahead, I pray, let me not be taken till I get the job done!

Oh, this wonder of being part of my son's life, who is God's child, oh, what wonder, what a miracle, what an undeniable evidence of God's Trust in Man! If I could only communicate what I think to my wife, but, unlike writing, where I have the facility to express my deepest feelings, I fall short in actual speech. Maybe this is where God wants me to be, to write, to bear witness, to be His lowly, loving, humble servant and to shout His Glory to the whole wide world!

Oh my dear son, grow in the light of the Love of Your Heavenly Father.

Bless him, O My Dear Lord, as you've done my other children.

Bless my Friends, I spoke their names (and blog names) to You in my prayers.

Bless my family.

Bless America.

Amen and Your Name be Praised Forever.

My newborn child is growing so fast, however, he has a bit of a cold and it wrenches my heart when he has difficulty inhaling while he sleeps. It's on or off. I pray to God that He cures my son, although I also know that he has to be immune to those illnesses, and having a little contact with these pesky viruses may be medically sound. You Will be done, My DEar Lord.

He's more than a month old. What a handsome boy. Sometimes I envy him because his mother takes care of him so well, and needless to say, she loves him so much (more than me, methinks...grins).

Good Lord God, Thank You! We are with You all the way!